Ja Clan
"I'm not sure whether I should be flattered... or have an identity crisis." - Jaclose The Ja Clan is a small organization in the Regular Universe, comprised of people noteworthy for two things: the Ja-'' prefix in their name, and their visual similarities to the Regular Universe sorcerer Jaclose. Currently, there are five official members and one technical member. Unlike every other organization, they don't seem to serve any purpose (or do anything, for that matter). They considered becoming a boy band, but none of them could sing. History EQSE scientists Doctors Ian and Hiss were once involved in an open war against Jaclose - although they had an array of guard robots on their side, Jaclose had sorcery on his side, and the ability to travel back and forth between dimensions after he stole both Teleprot Guns from the EQSE Tower. Instead of doing something crazy and unreasonable like "talking it out" or "making a truce" or "finding a peaceful solution", Ian came up with the idea to make a robotic clone of Jaclose. Jaclone was created in the image of Jaclose - Jaclone had many of the same properties and visual features (an all-red outfit, black "hair", and a staff even though Jaclone never uses it for anything, kind of like Ganondorf with his sword), but instead of being outfitted with magic, Jaclone was equipped with a bunch of explosives and enough ammunition to take down a small army. Doctors Ian and Hiss were ecstatic with their success (Dr. Love was less than ecstatic, god bless her soul). In order to test Jaclone's obedience, they ordered him to make them a sandwich. However, Ian and Hiss were so preoccupied with programming Badassery into Jaclone they forgot to program in Obedience, and thus Jaclone's first words were: "Nah. I don't feel like it." Jaclone then escaped from the EQSE Tower, intent on taking down Jaclose and proving his superiority. Jaclone was unable to breach Jaclose's magic dome, however, and thus bided his time, waiting for Jaclose to arise from the Capital City Ruins. However, Jaclone didn't realize Jaclose had a secret channel that allowed him to exit the Ruins without breaking the dome. By the time Jaclone realized this, Jaclose had already settled his conflict with the Doctors. Jaclone tracked down Jaclose and the two of them had a duel - technology vs. sorcery at its finest. The two of them were evenly matched, and thus the battle ended in a stalemate after Jaclose was called to VSSPAL to deal with the newly-discovered Pacha. Jaclone traveled across the world to get supplies for himself, intent on thoroughly destroying Jaclose the next time they interacted. Unexpectedly, however, Jaclone came across a variety of people that all bore a resemblance to Jaclose as well. These people were Jabanga, a would-be jokester that always told unfunny jokes; Janear, a sassy black woman that fought with magic sarsaparilla; Japotle, an endearing Mexican with magic maracas; and JaWayTooClose, a pretty normal, easygoing guy that doesn't understand the concept of personal space. Jaclone was thoroughly confused - how could there be so many Jacloses? He decided to try and destroy all of them, but they were either too obnoxious, too sassy, too Mexican, or too normal to be bested. Thus, Jaclone made the logical decision to ally himself with them and form a clan, intent on defeating Jaclose with their combined strength. That said, Jaclose has never accepted any of their invitations to fight them. Noteworthy Members * Jaclone - Founder, de facto leader. A robot built to destroy Jaclose and serve Doctors Ian and Hiss, his creators and masters. Jaclone rebelled and ditched his creators literally the moment he was born, and now dedicates himself to proving his superiority over Jaclose by destroying himself. He has no magic, but is decorated to the nines with an abundance of ammunition and explosives. * Janear - De facto second-in-command. A sassy, stylish black woman that always wears red robes, no matter the season. She fights using magic Sarsaparilla, or sometimes uses her infamous Z Snap to take down her opponents. Keeps things organized when Jaclone isn't there. * Jabanga - The resident comedian. He wears loud, obnoxious, red-dominated clothes plucked straight out of the 90's, almost like a foil to Slign Asghgubar, and his sole purpose in life seems to be telling unfunny, cringey jokes that nobody except the omniscient Laugh Track finds amusing. His jokes have the ability to inflict pain, and are thus magic. * Japotle - A former ''matador and Spanish entertainer, Japotle speaks very little English and likes to use the language barrier to screw with people, but is otherwise a pretty friendly guy. He wears a mostly-red matador's uniform and fights with magic maracas. * JaWayTooClose - A pretty normal guy. There really isn't anything particularly noteworthy or really interesting about him, save for the fact that he has no sense of personal space, and he will get really close when talking to people, for seemingly no reason. He doesn't seem to be capable of any magic, but he might be the team morale - he is the one that came up with the idea of finding other Ja's in the world, and everyone went along with it. Trivia * The name Ja Clan sounds a lot like "''Jacl''ose". * Jabanga's name is derived from the infamous "Bazinga" catchphrase, which originated from the incredibly shitty, laughtrack-ridden American sitcom, The Big Bang Theory. Both of the authors, Sam Lasky and Austin Ho, have expressed their distaste for it.